So, most of you probably know that I have been looking for a job, basically since the world began. And i have really been struggling with trusting God to provide everything that I need...
I know that it is such a stupid thing to not trust the God that created everything, and sent His son to deliver us from sin...In fact...I have tattoos that say Take this Life Make it Yours...how could I not trust Him?! To be honest...i don't fully know why...I think that i just got so used to things going wrong that I wanted to try and fix them myself instead of looking to God to provide for me. Stupid...just stupid. NEVER TRY TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN!!! IT DOESN'T WORK!!! Ugh...I just can't believe that I have gone this long trying to take the wheel of my life...
This morning I was reading Nehemiah 9...I don't know why...I just flipped past it...and thought maybe it would be a good read...turns out it was. The whole chapter is about everything that God did for the Israelites. They would trust Him...and then they would just go buck wild and forget about the things that He did for them. I feel a little bit like that...And it makes me feel like an idiot. I don't want to be like Israel. Kelly, my wonderful girlfriend, has been telling me all along that I just need to give up. Because I literally suck at running my own life. And she can always tell when I'm trying to...And I love that she can...it really just helps me that someone else can see the difference in me. Kinda just tells me that when I make stupid decisions, it affects other people too.
So if you have been having the same kind of troubles I have, And you find yourself not fully giving yourself to God, go read Nehemiah 9 and try to tell yourself that you don't need to trust Him. It wont work. =D
Alex
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